I’m failing as a parent.
I know, I know…every parent thinks that, but this time it’s for real!
So how, exactly, am I failing. Drugs? Porn? Grades in the tank? Nope.
My son won’t bike with me. *gasp*
His resistance started two years ago when he and his sister were 11 and 13. It was spring break and I’d loaded up the bikes and headed to the Duck Creek Bike Path in Bettendorf. We had a history, us three, of rolling along on the Clinton and Fulton-Thompson bike paths. I wanted to increase our two-wheeled sojourns and introduce them to new views.
It was the first ride of the year so I knew it’d be short, but around 2 miles, KidBoy started to derail. His butt hurt. Despite several breaks, we eventually had tears…and a very brief ride. It pretty much set the tone for the year.
So last year, saddled with new bikes and high hopes, the butt pain and tears continued. Not with his sister, though. Except for a literal run-in with a fence, KidGirl’s a natural, even on the trainer.
The kids wear all the proper gear, we’ve adjusted saddle height, tilt, even added one of those BS cushioned seat covers. But it’s clear, KidBoy doesn’t want to ride and is holding on to any excuse. While Marty and I both believe it’s a “time in the saddle” issue, our son is unwilling to put in the time to get his duff toughened up.
Today was their last day of spring break and since KidGirl was hitting the links with Marty, I offered KidBoy the following: an hour of relaxed cruising or sweeping the attic and ShopVac’ing a winter’s worth of nasty-ass dead and undead flies.
He chose the flies. FLIES!!! An afternoon in a gross, web-filled attic with a bazillion zombie flies vs. a glorious spring day in the fresh country air…
Last winter he made the comment, “Just because you like fitness doesn’t mean I like fitness.” Was he pushing my buttons? Of course. But was there a nugget of truth? A glimpse into his personal teenage angst? Probably. So what do I do???
Reed All About It 
What to do, a short list generated by my humble opinion:
1. Keep breathing. Keep rolling.
2. Congratulate yourself on raising KidBoy that knows how to work hard and be uncomfortable by vacuuming zombie flies in the attic. Congratulate KidBoy, too. And your hubby. Consider throwing a party. (Side note: Can I hire KidBoy for some projects at my house?)
3. Listen to KidBoy tell you that biking is not his thing.
4. Find out what KidBoy’s thing is and do it with him.
5. Keep on shining love out into the world like a juice up lighthouse. I see it and it gives me joy and hope. KidBoy sees it and you are his mom. (!!!!) Remember that you and your love are what KidBoy will remember and feel in his heart years and decades into the future. Long after both of you have forgotten zombie flies.
That’s what I got. Sending big love to you all!
P.S. Can we (I totally include myself) stop talking about failing as parent? Even as a joke? Is that a place we can be going? Just wondering.
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I adore this Laura! Your suggestions are wonderful & very appreciated. Perhaps he’ll need to school me on “Minecraft?” And even joking about failure….how can we jettison that bullshit?! You’ve given me much on which to chew Laura! Thank you!!!
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I have two boys. You wouldn’t know they were actually related. One exceled at sports, one tried them all and was just average (sometimes below average but we won’t talk about that). Everyone wanted number two to be just like number one. It. Did. Not. Happen. I found what made number two happy and embraced that. They both grew to be great young men and I adore hanging out with both of them, doing completely different things. I kinda like that. In the mean time, I did get them to try doing things I like.
P.S. I also found out they both hate running.
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It’s clear to you too that he’s just decided that he doesn’t like it, isn’t it?! Obviously you like it…. but he doesn’t… it’s not a problem, is it? 🙂
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Lol! Thanks for your comment & I totally hear you Duggerdale, but I keep trying. We actually found a middle ground last summer when I bought a used gravel tandem. He loved it & even mentioned looking forward to next summer’s group gravel rides! I’m not giving up! 😉
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I couldn’t say for sure but if he’s anything like I was/am, if he can sense you’re trying then that will just put him off. (y)
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True enough! 🙂
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